Trench Warfare

We constantly create arbitrary rules about the ‘right’ way of doing things that set us up for conflict.  Situations in which one person wins and the other loses, and sometimes they center around the tiniest of things, like the way to hang toilet paper.  Whatever the issue, conflict in relationships often happens because we’re fully convinced of our own right-ness.

The more you tell me that I don’t have a right to my feelings, the more adamant I’m going to be that my feelings are right.  And the more adamant I become, the more entrenched I am in my position.  But trenches are for long-term warfare and they’re only safe as long as you stay inside.  

A trench is not the place to be if you want to change the game, to make forward progress, to move towards victory.  Unless something changes, the best you can hope for is a stalemate, which satisfies no one.

For real change to occur, someone has to leave their trench.  We were always going to be at odds with God until someone changed position.  And although God is perfectly right always, He made the first move, even though it was extremely costly.  Jesus said, “I have come down from heaven to do the will of God who sent me, not to do what I want” (John 6:38, emphasis added).

The Lord knew we were never going to be able to move from our pit to heaven without help.  And so He changed His position and He did it in order to accomplish the purposes of God, even when they were at odds with what He wanted.

“Yet I want your will, not mine” (Luke 22:42).

“Though he was God, he did not demand and cling to his rights as God” (Philippians 2:6).

It might cost us something to give up having our own way.  In relationships that take place in the muck and mire of drawn-out warfare, we’re going to have to let go of our insistence on having our own way (John 15:13) and make the first move towards reconciliation (Matthew 5:24).

We’re in the middle of a long, drawn out war for our hearts.  But just because it’s long-lasting doesn’t mean there’s any doubt about the outcome.  “Overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us” (Romans 8:37).