Disappointed. Have you been there? Do you know that feeling? It’s more than just let down. According to Merriam-Webster, to be “disappointed” means to be defeated in expectation or hope.
Most of our disappointment comes from the fact that other people are not us. They don’t do what we would have done. They don’t respond the way we would have. And because they don’t meet our expectations, we’re displeased. They frustrated our plans. They blocked us from getting our own way.
What about when the complaint is against God? When we know He could have done differently, could have brought our good plans into being, but He didn’t. He did things His own way in His own time and we don’t like it much.
Our disappointment reveals the truth – we think God messed up. How can God mess up? What can He do wrong? “As for God, his way is perfect” (Psalm 18:30). “How glorious is our God! He is the Rock; his work is perfect. Everything he does is just and fair. He is a faithful God who does no wrong; how just and upright he is!” (Deuteronomy 32:3-4)
At the root of our problem is thinking that we know better than God, that our way is the right way. We get hung up on our right-ness. The self-righteous will always find offense in God. He will always do other than what they would have done. His wisdom will always fall short of their wisdom. They will always question His goodness. And their faith will always fail when put to the test because faith requires trust in and reliance on the invisible goodness of God.
What we can expect from God is not a neat “if you do this, then He will do that.” As CS Lewis referred to Him in the Narnia series, He is not a tame lion. Instead what we can expect from God is that He is holy and will always be so. That He is good and that all that He does is good. That He is kind and that all that He does is kind. That He is right, and all that He does is right.
Circumstances and other people, those definitely can and will let us down. But God is as He should be. There is no lack or shortcoming in Him. And so we have no grounds for disappointment. When our circumstances aren’t what we would have chosen, the promise of God is that He will “in all things… work for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). We won’t need to resign ourselves to accepting some barely palatable compromise. God’s way in God’s time is perfectly right and good and it’s for our good.
No one wants to be disappointed. So what do we do when we are? I think the answer is to bring our disappointment to God. To hold it up in the light of His holiness and allow Him to transform it into something else – hope.
‘I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.’ Jeremiah 29:11
And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us. Romans 5:5