“I just have a hard time forgiving myself.”
My daughter said those words as we turned the corner. I don’t even remember what the mistake was anymore. It was definitely something tiny and insignificant that she saw as monumental. And so I asked her, “Do you believe in forgiveness?”
The thing about forgiveness is that it’s for sinners. It’s for people who mess up. The word ‘sin’ is from an archery term that means ‘to miss the mark’. In church, forgiveness sounds like a great principle. But we feel a lot differently about it when the misfired arrow plunges straight into us.
What about when we’re the sinners? What about when we’re certain that we’re the cause of the problem, that we shot the arrow and missed the target? Does forgiveness seem out of reach? If you feel hopeless when you miss the mark, that forgiveness isn’t for you, then it’s possible you’re a stranger to grace.
Grace is the fact that the intended recipients of forgiveness are undeserving people. People who didn’t even try to hit the mark. We have to be careful to understand that being a sinner is a necessary requirement for receiving grace and forgiveness. Christ died for sinners (1 Peter 3:18). He justifies the ungodly (Romans 4:5). Jesus explained it this way: “Healthy people don’t need a doctor – sick people do. I have come to call sinners, not those who think they are already good enough” (Mark 2:17, emphasis added).
The second sentence is key. If we think we’re good enough on our own, we have no need for Christ. He’s the Savior and His work is to restore the ungodly to right standing. His substitutionary death was for sinners. Not for those who are good enough, who haven’t messed up too much, whose sin wasn’t too bad.
God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. Ephesians 2:8-9
For the person relying on their own works, their own goodness, every mistake puts their salvation at risk. How can they be sure the sum total of their performance will be good enough to pass the test? Will this mistake be the one that tips the scales against them? God says we can only be saved by grace, not by what we do. Grace is the only road to get where we want to go. How wonderful then that the road is “for sinners only”!
If you’re relying on grace, your misfires confirm that you’re firmly in the category of sinner and therefore fully eligible to receive the undeserved gift of salvation. Salvation based on grace is completely secure because we can never do so much good that we won’t need an undeserved gift. We can never get it so right that we’ll stop being sinners. Being a sinner is the only condition for salvation we were certain to be able to meet, it’s the only part we could cover on our own. Every other requirement for our salvation is covered by grace.
Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16, emphasis added