When planning a trip by plane, I tend to forget the whole process of getting somewhere is more than buying a ticket and getting onboard. There’s the unpredictability of getting to the airport, the process to check in and pass through security. That’s another 3-4 hours of travel time for even the shortest of flights.
I must not be the only one who forgets this part. On a recent trip, the extra cushion I had allowed was eaten up before I even got into the airport. Then the line for the counter snaked back and forth, and anxious passengers began jumping places, pushing past others in their desire to get to the front. Those waiting began grumbling. Things looked a bit dicey for a few minutes.
Sometimes that’s the way it is. There are days when we’re so focused on ourselves – on what we need, where we’re trying to go, what we want – that we just push our way to the front, oblivious to the impact we have on those around us. This is how we behave when we think we’re going to miss out on happiness – “You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous for what others have, and you can’t possess it, so you fight and quarrel to take it away from them” (James 4:2).
Self-centeredness is always going to lead us to disregard others. Unchecked, it leads us to the false belief that our desires are more important than anything else, that our happiness is the only thing that really matters. When I begin to believe that’s actually true, I’ve started to travel down a dangerous road.
What’s the solution? It isn’t self-hatred. It’s the enemy who says we are unworthy of being loved, that we’re fundamentally unlovable in our very nature. That’s not what God says. God says He loves us. He created us in His image and declared that we are good. No, the way out of the dangerous temptation to self-love is humility.
Humility is seeing ourselves rightly, as God sees us. This means neither self-hatred nor self-love. The truth is God loves us, and we have a terrible tendency to wander away. Humility keeps us in right relationship with God because it recognizes the strong pull of sin in our lives and our desperate need for Him to keep us from being dragged off. And humility keeps us on an even footing with others because we know that we all make many mistakes. Their sin could be our sin. Their failures could be our failures.
But when we’re the one being shoved out of the way and stepped on, it’s hard. We wonder if anybody even sees us. We worry a bit about what will happen to our own needs, our own ability to get where we want to go if we let everyone else go ahead. Does humility mean that we’ll be left behind?
The truth is, we’re not ready for the destination without the preparation. It’s the part of the journey we enjoy the least, but it’s essential. “For the time being no discipline brings joy, but seems sad and painful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness [right standing with God and a lifestyle and attitude that seeks conformity to God’s will and purpose]” (Hebrews 12:11 AMP).
True happiness isn’t found in being first, but in trusting that God will sort things out rightly. Consider the example we have in Jesus, who demonstrated for us what it looks like to turn the other cheek, go the extra mile, and love His enemies. He didn’t insist on having His own way, or assert His rights. Instead He humbled Himself in obedience and allowed God to determine the outcome. “Let [Him] teach you, because [He is] humble and gentle” (Matthew 11:29).