To my nephew and his fiancee

Your smiles say more than the announcement.  I can see the joy and happiness you’ve found in one another.  I’m so happy for you on your engagement!  

After more than two decades of marriage, I know that not every moment will be sun-kissed.  So with my congratulations, I also want to remind you that the greatest measure of love is shown by laying down your life (John 15:13).  It’s pretty unlikely you will have to physically die for one another, but I guarantee you will be challenged to put your Self to death on a regular basis (Luke 9:23).  

When two become one, it means that you are bound in a way that is a great mystery.  When you harm the other person, you harm yourself.  When you care for the other person, it is the greatest practice of self-care you can ever exercise (Ephesians 5:28).  Love seeks the best interests of the beloved.

My wish for you is that for most of your days together, that will be easy.  But there will be days when that’s hard.  On those days, ask yourself, “Do I want to be right, or do I want to be reconciled?”  There are very few confrontations within a marriage where our right-ness is more important than our relationship.

Those hard days will define and shape you in a way that the easy days never will.  How you respond will prove the quality of your love – for your spouse, and also for the Lord, who has called us to love one another the way He loved us (John 13:34-35).  That kind of love will be costly, but who would want a worthless love?

So may your bright days lessen the darkness of the difficult ones, and may the hard ones hone and sharpen your love into something fierce and strong.  In all of it, may the lavish love of the Lord for you guide you in loving one another.