Month: May 2020

My schedule has never been so open.  Within the space of three days, almost every mark on my calendar was erased.  Some disappointments were small and fleeting, brushed away as easily as the eraser crumbs, while others left a smudge that cannot be erased, a smear that will always mark the place where something momentous once stood.

 

I know I’m not alone in this.  There’s a universality to our present condition, a common thread of grief, whether due to a mild letdown or devastating loss.  We’ve all been touched by it, are in different stages of dealing with it in different ways.  But none of us have been immune to it.

 

The question is what do we do about it?  What about when it was a thing you prayed for, asked for, begged and bargained with God over?  What’s our response when He says ‘no’?

 

Do we sulk, pout, or wallow in disappointment?  Doing so says we fundamentally, in our heart of hearts, believe we know better than God.  If we’re unwilling to accept His no, we’re really saying that our desires/wishes/plans are better than God’s.

 

Do we become afraid to ask God for anything?  Then we don’t really know Him and we aren’t His children.  God is not cruel; He’s a good Father who gives good gifts to His children.  As a parent, some days are filled with countless no’s not because I’m mean, but because my children need protection from their own lack of understanding.

 

Do we fall into despair?  Despair reveals that we don’t believe that God is God, that we believe there’s something too hard for Him, something that’s beyond His control.  That His loving concern for us is limited or insufficient.  That He will abandon us.

 

Discontentment with God’s response to our prayers reflects that we still have a lot to learn, a lot of growing to do.  We’re like little children pitching a fit over not getting the thing that we wanted RIGHT.NOW.  I’ve done that.  It wasn’t pretty and I’m too old to act like that.  I don’t want to act like that.

 

Most of the time, we’re overly concerned with what we think will lead to our own happiness.  God is always most concerned with our holiness.  His desire and intention, what He wills to take place in our lives, is good.  Not necessarily easy, but good.  As a matter of fact, it’s the kind of good that will cause us to overflow with thanksgiving and joy.

 

Always be joyful.  Keep on praying.  No matter what happens (whatever the answer to your request), always be thankful, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, comment added

What would it look like if we responded to God’s no’s with trust? Jesus said the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to the child-like, not the childish (Matthew 19:14). Children ask for anything and everything without fear when they know they are loved. They trust their Dad to look after their well-being, to do what is best for them, even when He says no. His perfect love drives out every fear (1 John 4:18).

A few weeks ago, I was tired of being inside and the weather was just perfect for spring clean up.  Usually this chore is squeezed in chunks between sports practices, after school activities, and the general mayhem of spring.  But this year I had plenty of time on my hands and nowhere to be, and after a couple days weeding, pruning and spreading mulch, my plant beds looked better than they have in years.  I sat on the porch and enjoyed the satisfaction of a job well done.

But the thing about a garden is that you can’t just keep sitting on the porch. Growing things need constant attention. There are branches to be trimmed and flowers to deadhead. And there are weeds. Healthy soil is good for growing all kinds of things and weeds are opportunists. There’s always more work to be done.

Weeding is my least favorite part of gardening, but I always learn a lot down in the dirt. Most recently I’ve been thinking about the process of weeding more than the weeds themselves. Weeds are easiest to pull in two conditions. The first is when the ground is soft and moist, like after a rain. And the second is if you pull them while they’re small and haven’t taken root.

Sin is the weed that will choke out every beautiful and desirable thing in our hearts.

Although there are weeds in my garden, I have no love for them and I’m eager to get rid of them.  And that’s how it should be spiritually as well. I don’t want to give sin a chance. Instead, I want to be a diligent gardener, looking for what doesn’t belong and dealing with it before it can take root.  There should be sorrow whenever I see evidence of sin springing up. Those tears are often God’s way of softening the hard ground of my heart. It’s not a one time job, but a regular practice of confession and repentance that’s necessary to promote the growth of the good things I want in my life.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life. Psalm 139:23-24