Recently my husband and I celebrated our wedding anniversary. The years haven’t been easy – the year of the Great Toothpaste Standoff was a tough one to be sure. But after 23 years, I can look at him with full knowledge of who he is (no starry eyes here) and say that I love him. I am passionately committed to him. And that is a gift of God. Oh my husband is a gift, but I’m speaking about the love itself as the gift. It’s been God’s kindest tool in shaping my character. It’s given me countless opportunities to put my self-centeredness to death.
My feelings toward my husband have changed innumerable times since the day we exchanged our vows. People living in close quarters inevitably knock elbows, bump into each other, rub one another the wrong way. It’s easy to get your nose out of joint in the ins and outs of doing everyday life with a flawed human being. Because I’m a sinner and my husband is a sinner and we’re attempting to do something only God can do – love another person wholly for our whole lives. Love is a miracle.
Jesus said, “Just as I have loved you, you should love each other” (John 13:34). In the same way, in a like manner to how the Lord has loved me, I am commanded to love others. And how has He loved me? He gave up His rights, gave up His very life, in order to restore and repair a broken relationship.
Without the love of God, a broken relationship is what we’re bound to end up with. No matter how much I want to love my husband well, my best intentions will fall short. My good feelings will run out. My efforts will be tainted by my selfishness and pride. But God’s love suffers none of those shortcomings.
God’s love is steadfast, even in spite of our faithlessness. His love is kind, even when we are not. His love always seeks our benefit, even at great cost to Himself. His love invites, never demands. His love is characterized by forgiveness, not just one time, but a thousand undeserved times over. God weeps over our iniquity and misfortune and He celebrates our victories with unbridled joy. And He does all this unceasingly, day after day, always with His eyes on the lookout for the best in us.
Love gives precedence to the beloved. Love seeks out the beloved’s best interests. Love is willing to go out of the way, to be inconvenienced, to give up the last cookie, the best seat, the remote control. Love isn’t about control at all.
Love chooses the beloved, even when the beloved is completely unlovely. That kind of choosing can only come from God, who chose us to be the objects of His affectionate devotion long before we did anything to deserve it, and in spite of all that we’ve done to disqualify ourselves since. Being loved in that way is a priceless gift, and it’s the most precious thing we could ever give to another person. And it would be completely impossible if God hadn’t loved us first and shown us real love in action.