Month: March 2019

“I just have a hard time forgiving myself.”

My daughter said those words as we turned the corner.  I don’t even remember what the mistake was anymore. It was definitely something tiny and insignificant that she saw as monumental.  And so I asked her, “Do you believe in forgiveness?”

The thing about forgiveness is that it’s for sinners.  It’s for people who mess up. The word ‘sin’ is from an archery term that means ‘to miss the mark’.  In church, forgiveness sounds like a great principle. But we feel a lot differently about it when the misfired arrow plunges straight into us.

What about when we’re the sinners?  What about when we’re certain that we’re the cause of the problem, that we shot the arrow and missed the target?  Does forgiveness seem out of reach? If you feel hopeless when you miss the mark, that forgiveness isn’t for you, then it’s possible you’re a stranger to grace.

Grace is the fact that the intended recipients of forgiveness are undeserving people. People who didn’t even try to hit the mark. We have to be careful to understand that being a sinner is a necessary requirement for receiving grace and forgiveness.  Christ died for sinners (1 Peter 3:18). He justifies the ungodly (Romans 4:5). Jesus explained it this way: “Healthy people don’t need a doctor – sick people do. I have come to call sinners, not those who think they are already good enough” (Mark 2:17, emphasis added).

The second sentence is key.  If we think we’re good enough on our own, we have no need for Christ.  He’s the Savior and His work is to restore the ungodly to right standing.  His substitutionary death was for sinners.  Not for those who are good enough, who haven’t messed up too much, whose sin wasn’t too bad.

God saved you by his grace when you believed.  And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.  Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. Ephesians 2:8-9

For the person relying on their own works, their own goodness, every mistake puts their salvation at risk.  How can they be sure the sum total of their performance will be good enough to pass the test? Will this mistake be the one that tips the scales against them?  God says we can only be saved by grace, not by what we do. Grace is the only road to get where we want to go. How wonderful then that the road is “for sinners only”!

If you’re relying on grace, your misfires confirm that you’re firmly in the category of sinner and therefore fully eligible to receive the undeserved gift of salvation.  Salvation based on grace is completely secure because we can never do so much good that we won’t need an undeserved gift. We can never get it so right that we’ll stop being sinners.  Being a sinner is the only condition for salvation we were certain to be able to meet, it’s the only part we could cover on our own. Every other requirement for our salvation is covered by grace.

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.  Hebrews 4:16, emphasis added

According to the Independent online, 98% of all Japanese adoptions are employers adopting the adult men on their staff, not children.  It’s not that Japanese employers love their staff so much they want them to be part of their family. It’s because Japanese employers don’t want the second generation to run the family business into the ground.  The solution: adopt a highly qualified employee with the intention that they will take over leadership of the company.

This actually mirrors a practice in ancient cultures, when a man without a son would identify a worthy servant and adopt him as his heir.  Abram alludes to this in Genesis 15:2, “O Sovereign Lord, what good are all your blessings when I don’t even have a son? Since I don’t have a son, Eliezer of Damascus, a servant in my household, will inherit all my wealth.”

This is in contrast to American culture, where we tend to adopt children – the average age is seven.  Like birth parents, adoptive parents make a commitment to love and care for a child even though they have no idea how much work lies ahead and no guarantees about how it will turn out.  It’s an irrevocable promise to love daily, whether it’s hard or easy, whether you like it or not. In this way, parenthood is a beautiful picture of unconditional love.

It’s love that requires strength and endurance and grit because children are constantly testing boundaries. Each time they push against some guideline or rule, they’re asking, Do you really mean it? They want to know if your love is unconditional, relentless, un-loseable.

The answer must be ‘yes’ every time. Yes, I really mean you can’t have another cookie.  Yes, I really mean you have to go to bed. Yes, I really mean you won’t be going to that party.  All because I care about you and it matters to me how you turn out. Every time we reinforce both the boundary and the love, the child grows more secure, more certain of their status as beloved.

The Bible says we’re all adopted: “God sent [Jesus] to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children” (Galatians 4:5).  Although the Word here refers to children, the reality is like those Japanese employers adopting adult heirs. God doesn’t adopt us in ignorance, but with full knowledge that we are rebels and lawbreakers.  That we’re prodigals who will squander the inheritance we were only given because of His kindness in the first place. And He does it anyway.

Why?  Because His love really is unconditional, relentless, un-loseable.  We cannot do anything that will ever make Him love us less. And every time we push against the boundaries that He has set, His answer is always Yes, I really mean it.  

“You should behave instead like God’s very own children, adopted into his family – calling him, ‘Father, dear Father.’ For his Holy Spirit speaks to us deep in our hearts and tells us that we are God’s children.  And since we are his children, we will share his treasures – for everything God gives to his Son, Christ, is ours, too.” Romans 8:15-17