Oh Lord,
You have delved into the deep recesses of my soul and You know who I am.
You are aware of how often I lay down and when I rise up to fight. And You understand my thoughts of joy, grief, fatigue, desire, and contentment no matter where I am.
You have watched me day after day, and You are intimately familiar with what motivates me, makes me angry, and what brings me joy. Even before I speak, You know what I’m going to say, You know me so well.
You have my back, and You know where I’m headed, and hold me firmly in the grip of Your hand.
I can’t even begin to understand how You do it – You are unfathomable.
Where can I go from your Holy Spirit? Where can I escape your Face? In my happiest moment, You are present. In my deepest failings, You are present. If I am healed, or if I am drowning in sin, You pursue me.
You will lead me with Your hand. You will catch me when I fall.
When I am sinking under the weight of depression, and I do not see any way out, I am reminded that this darkness does not obscure Your view. Because even though You are with me in this pain, You are not bound by it.
Because You made me who I am. You wove me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you, Lord, for making me who I am – because You make beautiful things.
You are amazing, and the deepest part of me knows this. Even though no other saw me growing inside my mother, You were crafting my body, and my personality from the time of conception.
You saw who I could be even before my fingerprints were formed and You wrote my story in your book. Every day of my life – the good, the hurtful, the amazing and terrible – before I ever even took a breath.
How valuable your thoughts are to me, O God! I cannot fathom all the details that You came up with in Your unlimited creativity and artistry.
I am human, bound by so many things; But You are not bound by anything except Your promises made in Your faithful love for me.
Please deal with wicked people, O God; Keep me away from those who kill and maim! They speak against You, and Your character. I despise them, I loathe them, I hate them; they are my enemies.
Look into my heart again and again, O God, and take notice of me. Let me be tested, and show me what I fear and what makes me anxious; see if there is something that still pains me, or something I do that hurts others and lead me to healing, forgiveness, and ultimately more of Your presence.
~ Victoria M. Newman, based on Psalm 139
Just beautiful. ❤️